‘Twas the night before Christmas, and the house was quite boring.
Not a sound could be heard, except Daddy snoring.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But there still was this urge to travel somewhere.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Disneyland danced in their heads.
The beaches beckoned Mom. The redwoods called Dad.
As winter descended, there was more fun to be had.
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I ran to the window and opened the blinds.
What was out there? What would I find?
There, curbside and glowing in the winter moonlight,
Was a grand house on wheels, an inspiring sight.
On the passenger side sat St. Nick himself,
And behind the wheel was a long-legged elf.
Santa set a large atlas on the new-fallen snow
And began shouting out all the fine places to go.
“Now to Dallas! Now Denver! Now Vicksburg and Austin!
On to Cleveland! And Casper! And Pittsburgh and Boston!
To the top of Stone Mountain! To the top of Pike’s Peak!
Now drive away! Drive away! It’s adventure you seek!”
To the RV he pointed, saying, “This one’s for you.”
With a wink, Santa added, “And it’s brand new!”
St. Nick pushed a button, and the RV started growing.
A slide-out emerged, just as it began snowing.
And then, in a twinkling, he disappeared – poof!
And I heard someone stumbling around on my roof.
I rubbed my eyes twice. Have I lost my wits?
But down the chimney came Santa. I’m not sure how he fits.
He was dressed for a road trip, shades perched on his head.
He looked like a tourist. I had nothing to dread.
His cheeks and his nose were a vivid red hue
That I’ve seen in an Oregon sunset or two.
His beard was the color of New Mexico’s White Sands
His smile revealed teeth like the ragged Badlands.
He had a round belly and – not to be rude –
But he might want to cut down on that North Pole food.
Then I noticed a sack he’d brought – well, more like a bin.
But he wasn’t giving gifts out. He was packing things in!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.
Before I realized his mission, I thought: This guy’s a jerk!
Then I understood, and my heart did a flip.
Santa was helping us pack for our trip!
He roamed through the house – all the crannies and nooks –
And came back with beach towels and board games and books.
He collected our clothing, our pans and our pots,
And some toys for the kids. Actually, not some – lots!
For a fellow his age, he moved at quite a pace.
Then he loaded the RV. Each thing had its place.
He packed enough food to cover our meals,
Then he herded us into the big house on wheels.
He hopped into his seat. The elf shifted out of PARK.
Off we went to explore, like Lewis and Clark.
Then I heard Santa say, in this traveler’s tale,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all happy trails.”
